what to make for a friend who is having a hard day
When someone we know suffers a loss or is going through a difficult situation, we're often not sure what to say. Sometimes we constitutional or, worse, say nothing and avoid the person. But that doesn't assist at all, and it leaves us dragging around a ton of guilt…and mayhap isolating someone we love.
Then, how do nosotros show we care? While every heartache is unique to the person going through it, there are universal emotions many of us feel during times of grief and loss. Specially when those we intendance about are hurting, genuine empathy can guide our words and actions: Try thoughtfully considering what kindnesses would speak to you if y'all were in a similar situation.
Here are some examples of comforting words to think about the next fourth dimension you're struggling with how to help someone going through tough times.
Someone you honey is struggling with habit.
TRY THIS: "I want you to know I'm in this with you. Nosotros're going to fight this together." Mayhap your friend's child is the one suffering or being treated at a rehabilitation eye: You might say, "I care about you and am here to listen if you need to talk." One more thing—habit is a sensitive topic. Then keeping your conversations confidential will show your friend you respect their privacy and will requite them reassurance to express their feelings freely.
Avoid THIS: Offer specific advice. Unless you're sitting in a counselor's part and you're the counselor, kindly continue your opinions to yourself. A few other no-nos:
"Have you tried quitting cold turkey?" or "Only put your heed to it. That'southward what I did when I gave up chocolate." It'south very rare that comparisons from your personal feel will help, especially with something equally serious as addiction. One way to look at information technology: Retrieve virtually something you love that would exist really hard to requite up. Then, multiply it by 1,000. Then, consider this battle a thing of life and death. That'south a small glimpse of the hurting of addiction.
Prove YOU CARE: Visit your friend whenever possible or advisable. Or offering to drive them to the rehab facility to see their child. If they'd like, wait in the lobby as an extra force of support. Accept them to lunch afterwards or send them abode with a care package of comforting things: a cozy throw, a super huggable stuffed animal, some chamomile tea.
Your friend is suffering from mental wellness issues.
TRY THIS: "You are very important to me and zippo will ever change that." Or "Yous're a wonderful person and I wish I could take away this hurting from your center." Or only, "Can I give you a hug?" These quotes too work for a parent of someone struggling with depression, bipolar disorder, or another mental health challenge. Many moms and dads feel ostracized in what is oftentimes a lifelong boxing, and saying something kind can brand a huge difference.
AVOID THIS: "Are you off your meds again?" Or "Cheer up! The sunday'south out!" Or "I don't empathize why yous can't only snap out of information technology." Let'south pause and think that a mental wellness diagnosis is a medical struggle, not only a little bit of sadness or eccentric behavior. This is a time to practice being judgment-free and accepting of each other.
SHOW YOU CARE: Take your friend out for coffee or drive an exhausted parent to visit their child at a mental wellness middle. Exist present for someone who most likely feels very lone. One more tip: Do the careful thing when talking to a parent with a troubled kid. If you have the perfect kid, avoid humble bragging in front of them. It can feel heartbreaking for a parent whose child may never get better.
Your sis just got a worrying diagnosis for her kid.
TRY THIS: "I'yard so sad. I desire to be here for you, in any way helps you the best." You lot could even say, "I'thousand going to be checking on you more than," then commit to calling or making plans with her on a regular basis.
AVOID THIS: "They're going to be okay." Or "My friend'south son got the aforementioned affair and he'south totally fine now." Sadly, as much as we want to predict a happy prognosis, information technology's out of our control. Instead, go on that hope inside your heart and your caring volition shine through.
Evidence You CARE: Drop off some groceries at their front end door or order pizza and become it delivered. Pull in their garbage cans on trash solar day. Send a gift to the family unit, similar movie passes or bring a special care for for the children. Any picayune thing that can lighten their burden will be much appreciated.
Your brother is going through issues with his adult child.
Try THIS: "I'g so sorry. It's actually unfair your family is going through and then much stress." When grown upwards kids are suffering, it's a very troublesome kind of heartache. Approach your loved ones with gentleness and possibly some actress assurance, "I will ever love you and your family."
Avert THIS: "They're also old to exist interim like that." Or "Your child needs to straighten upward!" Or "You should but cut them off." Tough-love statements aren't very helpful and tin can add together extra anxiety. Yous may take first-class points, only someone once said it's better to be kind than to be right. (And nosotros agree.)
Prove YOU CARE: Listen carefully to your family member: what they're maxim and what they're not proverb. Just having someone to vent to may be enough. But if yous want to go the actress mile, bring over their kid'southward favorite childhood repast or dessert. A little reminder of practiced times might bring some much-needed hope.
Your best friend is moving their dad to an assisted living home.
Attempt THIS: "I know this is very hard for yous. How have you been doing?" Permit your friend let off some steam—they may have been waiting for this moment to unload everything on their mind.
AVOID THIS: "Why are yous so worried? They'll be well taken intendance of." Or "Why don't you get your siblings to assistance y'all more?" From the emotional toil to the fiscal burden to the frustrations of the parent-child relationship, caring for an crumbling mother or father is no easy chore. Our souvenir to our friends is to not add an extra layer of complication.
Bear witness YOU Intendance: A thoughtful note tin can work wonders when someone is stretched sparse, depleted, and sorry to run across their parent's declining health. If your friend likes company, offer to run errands with them or have them to a lighthearted movie to get their heed off things for a few hours.
One of your friends is diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Effort THIS: "You're my friend and I want you lot to feel supported and loved." Or "For futurity reference, I never get tired of giving out hugs, okay?"
Avoid: "I'thou going to pray for a phenomenon." Y'all tin still silently pray for your friend, but your caring presence will brand the most difference. Another non-so-helpful response: "Take y'all tried juicing? I hear it tin can really plough things around." In some instances, your friend might like your help researching alternative healing and holistic treatments, only it's all-time to follow their lead in this type of discussion.
SHOW Yous Intendance: Your friend volition demand dissimilar things at dissimilar times, from support during the initial shock to shopping for a nourishing diet to getting dog-walking help on days she feels weak. Get the squad together and brainstorm ways you can aid as a group. Maybe you lot make a rotating schedule of who sits with her at treatments. Peradventure it's a continuing date with the girls. Maybe she wants to put together a memory book for her family…and you offer to help.
Your friend recently suffered a miscarriage.
Endeavour THIS: "I'1000 so, so deplorable. Thank y'all for telling me. Would you like to come over for some java old and talk about information technology?" Or "My eye breaks for you. I know having a infant means the world to you."
DON'T SAY: "You'll get pregnant once again…you but expect!" Or "Have you thought well-nigh adoption?" Or "At least yous already have two kids." Losing a baby creates a deep, aching wound that is often grieved in silence. Try not to prepare this for your friend. Just allow her weep…only hold her hand.
Evidence Y'all CARE: Make a basket of goodies. Here are a few ideas to get you started: a blanket, teas, an oversized mug, her favorite candy, a pedicure souvenir card. If you're a cook, broil her a warm dish to enjoy—or bring in sandwiches if you're more of a takeout girl or guy.
A colleague is going through an extremely stressful time.
Endeavour THIS: "I wish I had a magic wand to brand all of this stress become away. Just I do have time to heed." Or "I know you lot're carrying a huge burden correct at present. I would like to drop off dinner to your firm one night." Or "Heed if I drive y'all to your appointment? We can take hold of a chai later."
Avert THIS: "It could be a whole lot worse." Or "When I'm stressed, I just become my hubby to rub my back." Note: Your friend may not have anyone to lean on. That's why the weight of the world might be so heavy. It'due south all-time non to emphasize that point even more.
Bear witness YOU Intendance: Offer to bulldoze your friend to the airport, to their car dealership for an all-mean solar day repair (so they don't accept to sit forever), or help with another overwhelming errand or task. Get them a chair massage gift card or leave a warm breakfast pastry on their desk. Sometimes it'south the smallest things that really bring calorie-free to a dark time.
One of your friends simply lost their pet.
Effort THIS: "Losing a pet is so very difficult. They're family and they'll always be in our hearts." Or "I'g so sorry. Y'all 2 were the perfect pair. I know y'all loved each other very much." Or "You gave Sonny a wonderful life and he gave you and so much joy. I always liked hearing your stories about his antics and hope you lot continue to keep telling them."
AVOID THIS: Comments that downplay the grief. "At least your cat lived a long time." Or "I think you lot should get a new puppy!" Or "Oh, actually? That sucks." Fur family is family and being sensitive to that will bring condolement to a very sad time.
SHOW You lot CARE: Find a beautiful motion picture on Instagram of your friend's fur baby and put it in a frame for their desk. Write down one of your favorite anecdotes of their beloved pet. Get a personalized stepping-stone with the sweetness pet'due south name, and as a bonus, bring a constitute that can be added to the garden in their memory.
A friend is going through a messy breakup.
Endeavor THIS: "Even though things are rough right now, I want you to know you're a great guy and your friends care well-nigh you." Or "It'due south painful for a relationship to cease. We desire you to know we've got your back."
Avoid THIS: "You're also good for them anyway." Or "I always thought they'd be the blazon to cheat." Focus your efforts on supporting your friend in a positive way, not cutting down their ex. A good thing to recall: Exit the venting to your friend…they'll probably be fine taking on that role.
SHOW You CARE: Invite your friend to meet some live music. Or possibly help them pack upward belongings that trigger unwelcoming memories. Y'all could even bring over a pizza and binge watch a thriller or comedy series. They'll probably like the visitor more than they know.
Source: https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/encouragement-ideas/comforting-words/
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